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10 Timeless Guidelines fora HappierRelationship
Relationshipsare undera lot of pressure thesedaysandI want to help. Thereare certain basic guidelines that can benefit any two people trying to builda truly happyand meaningful relationship. Hereare 10 of my favorite timeless guidelines for building a betterrelationship.
10 Timelessrelationship guidelines 1. Listen with yourearsandyour heart. It isextremelyimportant to listen toyour partner when they try to communicate with you. Communication is the life bloodof a goodrelationship. Giving them your undividedattention isasign of deep respect, but don’t just hear them with yourears, makesure that your heart is listening also. Insteadof nitpicking over their choiceof words try to hear thereal meaning behind their words. If they want to talk when you arein the middleof something important, unlessit’san emergency, suggest a time when you’ll beable to pay closerattention.
2. Never, ever keep score. Don’t walk around with a watchful eye making sureyour partner carries theirshareof the workload. Instead, take theview that it doesn’t matterif you end up doing more than half of what has to bedone. Thereisabsolutely no benefit to trying to makesure that everything in yourrelationship isdivided fifty-fifty. Do what you can reasonablydoandavoid making comparisons. Unlessyourspouseisvery lazyorrefuses to takeresponsibilityin general, don’t keep track of whodoes moreand whodoes less.
3. Don’t criticizein public. Being criticized can be tough to take under the best of conditions, but especiallyin front of other people. All it doesis humiliateyour partnerandraise theirdefenses. When you embarrassyour matein public it weakens the bondsof intimacyand can undermineyourrelationship. Thesame principleappliesif you have children. Criticizing your partnerin the presenceof your children undermines theirauthority with the kidsand can cause them todevelop an attitudeof disrespect. Thisisespecially trueif your mateisastepparent.
4. Don’t fight about money. Moneyisa highlyemotionally chargedsubject, especially when couplesare feeling a financial squeeze. Disagreementsabout money havealways been among the most common causesof relationship conflictsand this trend hasescalateddramaticallysince theeconomic downturn. Money problems can cause tremendousstress which seems to form a catalyst for frustration basedagitation. When moneyis tight it’svital toseek asolution togetherasa couple. If you lean on each otheryouralready happyrelationship will actually get strongerduring tough times.
5. Eliminate “always” and “never” from yourvocabulary. When your matedoessomething wrong, exaggerating theoffense will only make things worse. Nobody likes to be told that theyalways make thesame mistakeor that they neverdo what theyshould havedone. It mayseem like that is the case when you are upset, but how doyou feel when someone lays thesameaccusation on you? Thinking in exaggerated termsis nothing more than a bad habit that onlyagitatesasituation and underminesyourrelationship. Tryreplacing words likealwaysand never with morerealistic, lessaccusatory terms likeoften orsometimes. You will feel much lessangryinside.
6. Build trust intoyourrelationship. Trust doesn’t happen byaccident, it’s up toyou toearn it. This may takesomeeffort if your partner has been betrayedin the past andstill carries theemotional scars. If you want to be trusted then avoid behavior that createsdistrust. Be mindful not to get too close with or flirt with membersof theoppositesex. Even if your motivesstart out innocent, in realityyou are just inviting problemsintoyourrelationship. Your partner maystart to feel threatenedoryou might begin toview that other person asan alternativein theevent that yourrelationship doesn’t work out. Beresolved todoall you can reasonablydo to giveyour partnereveryreason to trust you completely.
7. Only make favorable comparisons. Thisissomething that you need to bevery careful with because making comparisons can bea twoedgedsword. Being compared with someexceptional person in a positive way can really brighten your partner’sday. On theother hand, making an unfavorable comparison issomething you never want todo becauseit will causeyour partner to feel eitherinadequateor jealous. And whateveryou dodon’t compare them toyourex. In fact, don’t even talk about a past relationship. It is much better to just leave the past in the past and focuson the present.
8. Work at fulfilling your mate’semotional needs. When a person’s most important emotional needsare met, they feel content and fulfilled. Conversely, when a person’s most important emotional needsare not being met, they feel empty, lonely, unfulfilled, or frustrated. Granted, every person has theresponsibility to tryand meet theirown needs, but you can help. Making a concertedeffort to help fulfill the most important emotional needsof your mate will goa long way toward building a happierrelationship. Asyou work todiscoverand help fill the needsof your partneryou will find that yourown needsarealso being met. Thisis trulya win foreveryoneinvolved.
9. Beready to forgive. Weall make mistakesand when wedo weappreciateit when the people we careabout give us the benefit of thedoubt. Well, thisisa two waystreet and weshould be willing to forgive when theopportunityarises. It’s been said that a happyrelationship is made up of two good forgivers. Oneof the ways we can show a forgiving attitudeis by not holding unrealistic expectations. This takesintoaccount the fact that nooneis perfect andsets thestage for built in forgiveness. Anything that fosters feelingsof togetherness helps buildyour happyrelationship and that isexactly what a forgiving attitudedoes.
10. Cultivatean attitudeof gratitude. Anyrelationship worth building up andstrengthening issomething to bedeeply grateful for. Afterall, you could bealone! Having an attitudeof gratitude means that your partner will know that you appreciate them. Yourappreciation will beobviousin your wordsandactions, and they will never need to question your feelingsin this. Gratitudeis likea big giant security blanket that will transform theoverall feel of yourrelationship. Being thankful foryour mateeverysingledayisoneof the most empowering thingsyou can do to builda trulyexceptional relationship.
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